Double Honor

"...He said to him the third time, 'Do you love Me?' And [Peter] said to Him, 'Lord, You know all things; You know that I love You.' Jesus said to him, 'Tend My sheep..'" - John 21:17

An Introduction

To put things in moderate terms, there has been a persistent desire in my heart ever since the Shepherds' Conference (I will explain what that is) to write this post and express not only my appreciation for pastors in general but also touch on the enormous weight of ministry that I felt just by participating in two of the night sessions as a layperson who aspires to be in ministry. After being tempted during may late nights to abandon sleep just so i can write about this topic... here I am, 3 weeks after the fact, finally scratching that itch in my mind/heart that I've displaced deep within that cloudy blurb called....finals. ah, but the events and the sentiments are so fresh that they almost seem to have occurred just last night.

It has always been a treasured tradition for Grace Community Church to sponsor Shepherds' Conference every year. The purpose of the conference is to build up the men who have spent their lives building up the churches in which they serve: through offering the pastors and their staff a wide variety of ministry-related seminars; supplying them with theological resources for their studies at a low/no cost; encouraging them with a strong dosage of their own medicine, the Word of God, taught by America's most faithful and renown expositors- John MacArthur, John Piper, C.J. Mahaney, Albert Mohler, Ligon Duncan, Mark Dever, R.C. Sproul, and many other men throughout the years. You can imagine the magnitude of the conference not only in the number of its attendees, but the awe for the Word of God this type of conference draws for both the shepherds and the laity.


Why I LOVE the Shepherds' Conference

I have to be honest. I would MUCH rather hear 3000 men sing praises and hymns than to hear 3000 women do the same. Not to say women do not have beautiful voices, but I think there is some unexplainable affinity that human ears have towards the masculine-human-sound portion of the audible frequencies. I believe it's the same reason why the cello is such a popular instrument for a wide range of audiences who generally don't have much knowledge of music, because the cello performs at a simliar range as the male human voice. Furthermore, if you've studied biology, you might know that the audible sounds to the human ear ranges from 20 Hz to 20 kHz; but did you know that the human ear is most inclined or most "tuned" to the frequency of the human voice? In other words, if there were a bunch of sounds withing 20-20k Hz playing next to your ear, you would hear the human voice most clearly. I think that's amazing.

Anyway, the reason i bring up this point is not to discourage all female vocalists, but to express my love for the part of Shepherds' Conference where the whole worship center of men sing in unison as an act of worship. I will explain why the corporate singing time is my favorite part Shepherds' Conference.v As a curteous act of hosts, the non-attendees are asked to view the conference through closed-circuit TV in other rooms on the church campus, so in all three of my Shepherds' Conference experiences, I was only able to watch a digital projection of the pastors singing and hear the melodies of their heart filtered by artificial speakers. But even still, every hymn and every song was an exhilarating experience of worship to me. No, it is not simply based on my forementioned acoustico-aesthetic appreciation of the male voice, but it is because I think that outside of heaven, there is probably no other congregation who can sing with such deep conviction of the truth in their lives, who can utter humbling words with such a clear view of their own sin, who can echo along in their hearts the resounding greatness of grace, than a group of pastors.

My ears perceived 3000 voices that evening, but in my mind I can only imagine all the sin-revealing/grace-abounding events from 3000 hard-laboring lives that might stimulate such magnificent praise. I am sure that the pastors cherished those sweet moments of ministerial comradery: these men share the same desire to deepen their church members' love for Christ while they trained themselves to preach the written Word by loving the incarnate Word; these men yearn for the same experience of worship and sanctification; perhaps they share the same tears and scars earned from ministry, many sleepless nights over a soul or a convicting verse; they share the joy derived from answered prayers and repentent hearts; they share the understanding of God's command to love their families above their ministries; they share the same aching back and dry eyes from long hours of studying; they share the same temptations that comes through ministry; they share in the gravitas of the call to ministry; they share in struggling to be ready in and out of season; they share the same spiritual armor in the good fight. (I appreciate the conversation that Sarah Kang and I had in the car on the way to the conference. As a fellow PK, she has a very disillusioned but positive outlook on pastoral ministry. I must acknowledge her input into my thinking as well)

When a pastor who has shepherded a church for 20 years sings these words below (a hymn sung at the 2007 Shepherds' Conference), he expresses praise, thankfulness, and committment in a completely different context as you and I (the laity) might ever be able to sing. Think about it.

1. Take my life and let it be
   Consecrated, Lord, to Thee;
   Take my hands and let them move
   At the impulse of Thy love.
2. Take my feet and let them be
   Swift and beautiful for Thee;
   Take my voice and let me sing,
   Always, only for my King.
3. Take my lips and let them be
   Filled with messages from Thee;
   Take my silver and my gold,
   Not a mite would I withhold.
4. Take my moments and my days,
   Let them flow in endless praise;
   Take my intellect and use
   Every pow’r as Thou shalt choose.
5. Take my will and make it Thine,
   It shall be no longer mine;
   Take my heart, it is Thine own,
   It shall be Thy royal throne.
6. Take my love, my Lord, I pour
   At Thy feet its treasure store;
   Take myself and I will be
   Ever, only, all for Thee.

My friends, pastors are NOT ordinary people. Pastors are NOT simply Christians who score better on some imaginary ministry aptitude test. Pastors are NOT in ministry primarily because they are incompetent in the secular work force. They are NOT necessarily godlier people, but they DO deserve double the honor you should give to any human being, as it is commanded in Scripture (1 Timothy 5:17). So, take a moment and think of a pastor you know and love, and pray for him! If you go to Grace On Campus, the next time you see Justin McKitterick, tell him you appreciate him! If you are a girl, give Juli a hug when you see her and tell her you appreciate her support for Justin!

I hope we all want to get recordings of the Shepherds' Conference singing now. haha.
Maybe now you understand why I love Shepherds' Conference so much! (I'll let you in on a little secret dream I have. One day, I hope to stand at the first row of the worship center during the Shepherds' Conference as an attendee and let the live singing of 3000 men behind me blast me into exuberating worship!!)

Extrabiblical Pastor Stereotype/Qualifications(?)

on a less serious note... from growing up as a pastor's son, interacting with a lot of my dad's pastor friends, observing the men at the Shepherd's Conference, and just knowing my own pastors, it seems to me that ALL pastors have certain intangible traits about them. Wouldn't you agree?? So here's my attempt to make the intangible tangible. It obviously isn't going to fit 100% of your pastors... but I think it quite accurate to a very comical extent.

1. All pastors wear cologne- Good-smelling cologne. You would be convinced of this if you were standing outside of the worship center with 3000 men around you.
2. All pastors can sing well- perhaps this is some special gift. You would be convinced of this if you stood next to any singing pastor. He is either has an amazing voice, is harmonizing, or just sounds like the manliest man you've ever known.
3. All pastors have a great sense of humor- have you ever met a pastor who doesn't crack jokes?? I mean, the jokes actually turning out to be funny is a different thing but, all pastors can either crack great jokes or can take jokes real well. If he can't, he probably hasn't been a pastor for very long.
4. All pastors marry amazing women- This is perhaps the truest item on the list. Behind every hard working pastor who is respected by his flock there is an even harder working pastor's wife who actually helps him keep his life together. She serves tirelessly at church potlucks and attracts the praise and respect of all the women in the church. Maybe being a pastor's wife causes the woman to be amazing. either way, she is amazing.
   
5. All pastors have great smiles- Ministry deals with people, and when dealing with people, the Bible commands us to love. Experienced pastors are never depressed, but they always seem to have a constant and calm smile on their face. It must be because they have learned to love people when they are most unlovable. The smile has gotta be a sign of this "God-taught love" written in 1 Thessalonians 4:9.
6. All pastors are/were athletes- Except for maybe John Piper. How many times have you challenged your pastor to a friendly game of whatever... and he thoroughly dominated you? I'm not saying it has to be a very popular sport, but somehow at the end of the day you will hear stories of how he was once the state champ of this and that in his youth. it could be anything like football, basketball, wrestling, badminton, ping pong, chess, etc.
7. All pastors have 10 million ties- this is because they pretty much only receive ties for gifts... some of them are straight up ugly and you know it. So if you want your pastor to look good, buy him nicer ties!

Thinking about becoming a pastor now? : )



"It is a trustworthy statement: if any man aspires to the office of overseer, it is a fine work he desires to do." - 1 Timothy 3:1

The Road to the Grace of Life

2:58am. In my overly-simplified and romanticized youthful state-of-mind, i first heard Edwin McCain sympathetically sing his now popularized line, "I'll be your crying shoulder...the greatest fan of your life."
after a few t-shirts where the would-be "shoulders" are dampened with tears and stained by mascara, i wish to have a talk with Edwin, so that he might give the whole story in his song:
"i AM the problem and the reason you cry, so I'LL be your crying shoulder... the greatest fan of your life."

apparently, there's no room in a godly relationship for boys w/o big shoulders to cry on, or more importantly, to bear responsibility...because that is a man's calling and joy.
the reward is a renewed trust and a labor-worthy smile,
and the prayer is truly, "let me be better when i'm older!"


"Your husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with a weaker vessel, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered. To sum up, all of you be harmonious, sympathetic, brotherly, kindhearted, and humble in spirit."
-1 Peter 3:7-8

The Beaming Night Sky

2:57am. I chose to walk right in the middle and straight down Kelton Ave to avoid its treacherous and ironic pedestrian "sidewalks." No need to dodge from speeding cars and image-driven joggers, the only hint of bustle that typified the City of Angels at its waking moments came from the halogen lamps dimly illuminating Richard Ho's living room.

while we slumber, creation sings with its full but inaudible volume to the Creator:
the moon conducts the heavenly chourses of the night sky with her gentle rays; Ursa Major at bass, Sagittarius at tenor, Cassiopeia at alto, and Venus makes a special soprano cameo high in the east.

"sing to the Creator who knows us by name! to the Lamb who for these slumbering sinners was slain!"

if we are slient, even the [space]rocks cry out.


"When I remember You on my bed,
I meditate on You in the night watches,
For You have been my help,
And in the shadow of Your wings I sing for joy."

Psalm 63:6-7

Affections

(i assume my audience to be Bible-believing Christians for this post)

Conventionally, people call today either Valentine's Day or Single Awareness Day. Couples who are married or dating have surely spent a great amount of effort anticipating and planning for tonight's _______. (date, romantic experience, make-up time, festivities.... whatever have you) On the other hand, godly single men and women out there who believe that they do not possess the gift of singleness are perhaps praying earnestly for God to not only strengthen that very conviction, but to manifest that conviction into sight by means of what we called, the one. Well, whether you are dating or not, no one knows for sure that they do NOT have the gift of singleness until his and her wedding day. So, if you are dating, keep at it and may the Lord sanctify the two of you in preparation for your marriage if it be His will. If you are not married/dating, don't be discouraged. Think about it this way: the fact that you DON'T have the gift of singleness will be verified on your wedding day... on the flip side... you don't have to worry about this too much because you will never know for sure that you DO have the gift of singleness until you die. And when that happens, you won't even be thinking about singleness cuz you'll be in glory!!

Speaking of affections, I must mention what I've experienced recently at Grace Community Church. If you go to GCC or know anything about it, you understand our church to be one of the strongest conservative-evangelical-Bible-believing-Bible-preaching-megachurches in the U.S. At GCC, "the Truth is everything," as our pastor would say, and there is absolutely no room for compromising the soul-saving truths of the holy Word of God. For this reason, we the Bruins of Grace On Campus UCLA have come to learn to wield the Sword of God offensively and defensively with all the resources God has given to us through the teaching at GCC. we have worked hard at our Extra-Jesus... oops i mean, exegesis!! we have gotten used to quoting Scripture to enhance our prayers, we have perfected the skill of reciting verses while we share the Gospel, we are even convicted about the importance of spedning personal quiet time with the Lord in the Word. Praise God, the authority of His Word is upheld at GOC and GCC.

However.... in my 11 quarters at GOC, I have heard relatively few discussions and expressions on our affection for the Word. By this I mean that at least within the student circles of GOC, believers' love for God's Word is not often articulated. Sadly, my heart also infrequently tells me of its affection for the words by which the brain has been excited of. Loving Bible-study and the process of exegesis is NOT equivalent to loving the Word! "Oh man, you know what deep theological concept I just understood after 6 hours of exegesis? I love it!" what is "it?" Is it the theology or the Savior? When was the last time your heart shouted out to you after drenching itself in truth for a period of time, "I LOVE the Jesus Christ MY Savior!!" A true love for God must be fueled by Truth; a true love for Truth will reflect its affections for the Author of the Truth.

consider our pastor, John MacArthur. Lots of Christians in America love him, lots of Christians hate him. Listen to MacArthur for 5 minutes or read 5 pages from any of his books and his strong conviction and almost stubbornness for adhering to the Truth will not escape your notice. He is a warrior on the pulpit. John not only spent his whole life guarding the truth of the Bible, but he attacks un-truthfulness from the pulpit. Not many preachers have the guts or the skin to do that. To be honest, you might not think he's the nicest person if you just seem him preaching, because he absolutely loses himself when he preaches. But I think he is an affectionate person. How do I know this? Well, first, I go to evening service. I really enjoy evening service (sometimes more than morning. sometimes. I believe Sunday morning services have a special place in the Bible). I love going to evening service for the baptisms and the testimonies and I love hearing pastor John share his heart. Surprisingly, he is a lot more open during evening service concerning his ministry convictions, his view on current events, and with his personal walk with the Lord. He does not merely reference the Truth with a roaring shout, but also with a very tender and mature affection for the Word. He once told the evening congregation of his ministry goal and summarized it to be something along the lines of: "loving the written Word as loving the Incarnate Word, since they are One in the same." To be honest, although I've heard these words before, it almost surprised me to hear it from John MacArthur. But now I understand, the reason his ministry in the Word is so powerful and oftentimes uncomfortable is because of his affections towards his Savior. Interesting. If you want to know John more, go to evening service. yes, this has been a public exhortation for people to go to evening service. :)

secondly, everyone who knows John MacArthur personally, whether they be pastors, family members, missionaries, church members, has vouched for his affection towards people. He is considered and respected to be one of the nicest people around when he's off the pulpit. I just had an endearing semi-personal encounter with him a few weeks ago. Thanks to my brothers Mitchell and Ed and their sacrifice, I was able to sit right next to John MacArthur during morning service on the first-row pew. Those seats are normally reserved for pastors, elders, or Mrs. MacArthur... but on that day, it was for Beland Huang. I must say, even in his few words of appreciation to me for sitting next to him and being his pal for the day, I was impressed with his kindness and good sense of humor. I think a Christian can only be truly affectionate to one another if we are affectionate to the Lord. I've heard pastor John preach for roughly 220 hours ever since I came to college, and I see a mature affection for the Lord even in his most fiery sermons.

To conclude this post, I would like to present to you some facts about the English language. Almost all of us have read at least a few of Shakespeare's plays, and most of us enjoy singing praises out of the good 'ol hymnal. If you have been paying attention to any of the words at all, you will inevitably notice the usages of that antiquated 2nd person singular pronoun: Thou, Thy, Thine, and Thee. Some of us don't particularly enjoy singing songs with these words precisely for that reason. But let me remind you, that Thou, Thy, Thine and Thee, in pre-modern English was the set of pronouns one would use for close friends and companions. In fact, if you were referred to as "You, Your, You," then your relationship with the one who has called you is probably still distant. more distant than the one who is called, "Thou." Somehow, the English language as we know it today has retained to royal "you, your, you."

But in light of today's post on affection, the next time you are standing in God's house singing those old words, do not be afraid to consciously sing phrases like "I love thee" with an extra bit of affection in your voice.


"How sweet are Your words to my taste!
Yes, sweeter than honey to my mouth!"
-Psalm 119:103

Moth-ball free treasures

"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and rust destroy..but store up for yourselves treasures in heaven...for where your treasure is, there your heart will be also" -Matthew 6:19-21



ok. so i started out slow and i did not post even a word for a week. sorry i didn't keep my word about posting a paragraph everyday... but, somehow i don't think too many people are expecting anything. that's ok. we'll do what we can.

please pray for me. i have a job interview on Thursday morning. Pray for me to trust in God's sovereignty: His hand is not too weak to close or open any doors he wants to. The position i'm interviewing for is a management trainee position with East West Bank. If you know me, you understand that I do not major in economics and have very limited practical knowledge about managing finances... much less any sort of investments. The only thing I know about money is what the Bible says about it: you cannot serve it and be a Christian; use it wisely for eternal purposes; pay taxes; a virtuous woman knows how to use it to make profitable investments; people with a lot of it have a hard time finding themselves inside the Kingdom; the servant who used it well was considered faithful by his master; it is the root of all evil; there's a time to receive it; a worker deserves to have it as his wage; a bank is a good place to put it; false teachers always seem inclined to have it, etc. sometimes, i think i am scared to handle money because i think it will decide how i live the rest of my life... which is true to some extent. nevertheless, the Lord gives and He requires of me to be a responsible steward of His gifts, money is one of them. maybe this job will teach me lots of spiritual lessons.

speaking of spiritual lessons concerning provision and anxiety over it.... I really appreciate Joe Penberthy's sermon today:

"if you call yourself a Christian and have entrusted your SOUL to God. How is it that you can be so inconsistent and hypocritical to worry about these things ?"

these things refer to anything you would worry about on a daily basis: food, shelter, clothing, etc. we Californians have augmented this issue into more than mere anxiety regarding the availability of these things, but we have made it into an art and a lifestyle to obtain a high level of comfort and ease by means of these things. what should i wear today to impress my friends today? which dining hall should i eat at? which apartment building should i live in? which roommates will i get along with the best? which video game should i buy next? which classes should i take next quarter? where do i want to work? who should i marry?
these things are not bad things and there is nothing wrong about making these sorts of decisions everyday. perhaps you even know somebody who needs to spend more time thinking about these things. after all, doesn't the Bible command us to glorify God in every little thing?

i don't think the issue resides in the nature of these decisions, given the fact that many of these seem like pertinent decisions for a college student make concerning his stewardship in order to honor the God. But as a young-asian-american-californian-evangelical-christian-man, i find myself and others who identify with me in at least 2 out of these 7 categories... on the one hand acknowledging the mundaneness, or perhaps even "unspiritual-ness," of spending time making decisions about these things; yet on the other hand, abiding by a twisted Christo-cultural hybrid of ideals that have subtly become our criteria for decision-making. i understand the Bible has its cultural context and we live in a cultural context that requires proper interpretation of the text... but practically, our generation is compromising more and more in our daily decisions. we have become experts at spiritualizing. you know how it is. our problem is not just being anxious over these things, but we seek these things instead of the Kingdom, because we care about our bodies more than our souls.

i hope my job interviews and actually having a job will not make me gold digger. honestly.

I want the treasure in heaven!

no wonder Jesus provided this context (treasure in heaven) before He spoke about anxiety over these things. the key word is "so." pretty awesome and comforting truth if you think about... especially for people who have a job interview coming up this week.

"But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." -Matthew 6:33-34

(for more insight on the real meaning of the text, consult a Holy Spirit near/inside you)

Namesake

it was 4 years ago when i first took up the habit of randomly posting thoughts on the internet. after a few months of spilling my guts over cyberspace, life got busy in college and there were simply too many things for me to decide whether it was "post-worthy" or not, so i stopped. in retrospect, it would have been nice if i had kept an auto-graphed record of my life, even if it did not contain little details from the milestones of my soon-to-be-past college years. too many thought-provoking and worship-inducing events and words occur within 24 hours to be fully captured in a blog, but i will try my best to produce at least 1 paragraph in summary of my daily experiences with the Lord's kindness to me. This is in effort to:

1. like i said, keep a general record of my life for myself and those dear to me
2. help me digest my thoughts and discern my intentions by communicating it in words to you
   
3. encourage you, if some things strike a chord in your mind or mirror your experiences
4. for you to encourage me and have more information about me to pray for me (thank you in advance)
5. stir up conversation when i see you in person. i do want to see you, i promise.

so here goes.

my name is Beland Isaac Huang. if you don't know me, the only thing in my name you would pronounce rightly is probably "Isaac." "Isaac" means "he laughs," because Abraham and Sarah had a good laugh when God told them they were going to have a kid at age 100 and age 90. I'm not sure if my parents laughed when their prayers for a second child were finally answered 10 years after my older sister was born, but they appropriately named me Isaac in appreciation to God's gift. that's a really really really humbling thought for me.... i was God's gift to my parents and an answer to countless prayers?! did they know that i was going to grow up to be a big sinner?

Beland, pronounced [bei 4 lan2], was a name given by name father with a very special meaning to it. [bei] literally means "shell." at one point, shells were the currency for ancient chinese societies, which is why [bei] denotes the meaning of "treasure" or "precious thing." No, i was not named after Mammon. My dad had been saved by the Lord at a young age and by the time i came around his relationship with the Lord was one who has "tasted and seen." My dad named me after the very gospel that saved him and his whole family from eternal punishment:

"But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, so that the surpassing greatness of the power will be of God and not from ourselves" - 2 Corinthians 4:7

[lan] is the color blue. In many cultures, the sky, or, the heavens, is often associated with Divine presence and loftiness. If you look up at the sky during a good day, you will notice that it is blue. in addition to that, my dad brilliantly referenced [lan] to the robe of an Old Testament priest. One of the layers of the levitical priest's ephod was commanded by the LORD to be blue. apparently, my dad had thought through of all this and wrote a short poem about [bei lan] prior to my birth. i don't think he had much of an idea that his son would be telling people about how he was named on a virtual space, almost 22 years later.

[huang] is my family name, and it simply means "yellow." No, we were not named that because one of our ancestors had jaundice nor because we lacked courage in the family. Yellow, not purple, was the color of royalty in chinese culture. ok, maybe not yellow yellow... perhaps gold-ish yellow. either way, there were many Huang emperialists in the past. funny thing is, my family did not live up to that name. my parents are poor missionaries who have no affiliation with any earthly power or ruler to grant them riches to live by....their apartment in Taipei, Taiwan is nothing like the forbidden city or solomon's palace in terms of its beauty and architectual genius... but my parents serve the King of Heaven and i believe He will reward them with untold treasures in eternity. please pray for their missionary work in the prisons and juvenile delinquency centers in Taiwan.

there you have it. that's an introduction to my name... and the legacy of ministry that my parents are passing on to me, which has been sovereignly unfolding within my lifetime. by the mercy of God, I have not lived up to it and don't think i ever will.... but by the grace of God, He saves and transforms sinners from earthen "filthy" vessels into "honorable vessels" (2 Tim 2:21). I don't think that in my dad's mind he expected himself to fill the shoes of Paul's ministry when he read 2 Corinthians 4:7, but he did believe in the gospel and God's power to grace, so he named me after this ministry to remind himself... and now that i'm at an age of understanding... to remind me of God's power.

therefore, the proceeding posts of this blog will be dedicated to describing and presenting the things of the Kingdom of God... at least this very small portion of it that surrounding me.... my life. the treasure has been found and purchased, now let's see how this treasure will validate itself to be of the supreme value, even though it is placed within the most unworthy of containers.